On the horizon

Sam went back for a check up a couple of weeks ago. His A1C was still a little high, so our doctor adjusted his insulin ratios (he now requires a unit of insulin for every 20 carbs he eats, as opposed to 1 : 30 as we had been doing). We've already seen great results from this change. His blood sugar was staying high (in the 200's) pretty consistently, so this change has brought those levels back down to where we want them to be. It amazes me how knowledgeable our doctor is. I'm so thankful for him and his staff.

At this very moment, Sam is out running errands with my husband. With a big old wad of guilt in my throat, I will tell you that it is a relief to "get a break" from diabetes. If Sam were here, I might have had to push back lunch for another 45 minutes or so, instead of just feeding my hungry children (and my hungry self). His schedule often dictates the rest of ours. Instead, I was able to cook an early lunch, complete with dessert and minus the effort of measuring out and weighing every component of the meal. It was a great feeling. No pausing in the day to check blood sugar, no carb counts to keep track of, no insulin to measure out and administer.

At our last appointment, our doctor told us that Sam is ready for a pump whenever we are. I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to hear those words. Not only will he feel better and be more regulated with a pump, but it will also free up other people to take care of Sam for us. Right now, it's all us, all the time. And it's exhausting. (Guilt wad still holding steady...)

Yes, we could probably ask for help and train someone that we love and trust to take care of him. No probably's about it-- we can and should do that. But it feels like a LOT to ask someone. It feels like there's so much headache and hassle and worry involved- for us and for the other person. Sam having a pump will help tremendously in this area. Instead of having to learn how to give him injections, a person will simply have to enter a number into his pump and it does the dosing for them. Life-changer.

On Wednesday, my husband and I are going on a very rare, very exciting date to see Wicked. The kids will be left in the care of our friends, one of whom is a nurse, the other a former scrub tech. We're handing over Sam's care for a few hours and the timing may work out to where they never even have to worry about a thing. It's a big first step, either way.

So I'm tired. I'm grateful. I'm optimistic. I'm surviving. I'm making it. I'm ready for change. I'm hopeful for change. I'm thankful.
I'm a mom of a boy with diabetes. And he is so much more than this stupid disease.